My special moment in the Holiday

LEARNING GOAL - We are writing a recount about one special moment in the holidays using our Personal voice and adjectives.
A sunny day at the pools

On New Years Day My family and I went down to the panmure

Pools. I was so excited that my face turned red.

My mum had just finished making our Snacks
I was just finishing doing my little sisters hair.

After when everything was done we all got everything in the
van and then on the radio it said it was gonna rain
Iwas so sad but my mum said we could still go.

When we arrived I ran straight inside with my bags

My mum payed then me and macky went straight in the pool.
When I was in the pool it was so cold it was
like there was ice in there,
but macky said move around so you can get warm.

After swimming we came and ate some chips and drinks,
we were finishing eating I went to the slide
it was so cool and it was so dark it was like being  in a cave.

When I was finished swimming I went to get change,
after I got change we all ran to the van so we can go home  and
I  told myself I will never forget this memory.

success criteria
 - I can use my personal voice by describing what happened in one special moment. 
 - I can use my personal voice by describing what I saw , what I felt, what I heard in my special moment.
 - I can use adjectives, similes and adverbs to make my writing more
 interesting